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Goats, gripes, and grasping for greatness
The headache scale 
20th-Jan-2011 03:40 pm
Spoons
Compliments of Blushing_Grace's link to the hysterical explanation of Hyperbole and a Half's pain scale, I'm attempting to define my version of a headache pain scale. This is mostly for the atypical migraines that I've been suffering.

ETA: It has been modified to note where "headache" turns into "migraine."



ReedRover's Pain Scale for Headaches

1.
Hrm. I have a headache. I wonder how long I've had that? I should get some tea. Have I taken my allergy meds lately?

2.
Yeah, I definitely have a headache. I hope it doesn't get any worse. Tea refill! Where's my Tylenol?

3.
Darn I've got a headache. Tea and painkillers are required immediately and at regular intervals.

4.
Wow. Tea, painkillers, and Sudafed by the handful might make a dent in this. If not, I'll take a hot shower.

5.
Ok, This is really, really hurting. It's hot shower time.

ETA: It's Migraine Time

6.
The hot shower didn't do it. Gimmie my heating pad and find me a soft flat spot for a while.

7.
I just wanna die, or at least pass out. Leave my heating pad on high and go away. Everything will be all better if I can just get to sleep. Sleep will cure all.

8.
I would cheerfully beat a co-worker to death to make this pain half of what it is now. Really. I'll take that stain on my soul if you can guarantee that I feel better. Not even well, but better.

9.
DEATH TO EVERYONE!... if I could only manage to move.

10.
I would cry except that I know crying would make it worse. There is no reality except for pain. I will embrace my pain and crush it to death under the slow smothering of my heating pad as I smolder in the misery of my nest of fuzzy flannel sheets in the heated water bed in the absolutely silent dark room...


And a quick footnote: This post is mostly for humor, and is not a search for either sympathy or solutions.
And yes, I live with headaches so constantly that 1) their existence sometimes is noticed after the fact and 2) I've used the phrase "would cheerfully beat a co-worker to death" while having never actually done even though I've hit the 10 on this scale a number of times.
Comments 
20th-Jan-2011 09:02 pm (UTC)
I can understand the question. If you don't think of using heating pads for headaches in the first place, this probably looks odd. If the headache isn't horrible, I'll put it over the left temple. If the headache is horrid, I put it over the left side of my face from the back of my jaw to the center of my forehead.
20th-Jan-2011 09:55 pm (UTC)
Oy. That sounds pretty sucktastic.
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