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Goats, gripes, and grasping for greatness
The headache scale 
20th-Jan-2011 03:40 pm
Spoons
Compliments of Blushing_Grace's link to the hysterical explanation of Hyperbole and a Half's pain scale, I'm attempting to define my version of a headache pain scale. This is mostly for the atypical migraines that I've been suffering.

ETA: It has been modified to note where "headache" turns into "migraine."



ReedRover's Pain Scale for Headaches

1.
Hrm. I have a headache. I wonder how long I've had that? I should get some tea. Have I taken my allergy meds lately?

2.
Yeah, I definitely have a headache. I hope it doesn't get any worse. Tea refill! Where's my Tylenol?

3.
Darn I've got a headache. Tea and painkillers are required immediately and at regular intervals.

4.
Wow. Tea, painkillers, and Sudafed by the handful might make a dent in this. If not, I'll take a hot shower.

5.
Ok, This is really, really hurting. It's hot shower time.

ETA: It's Migraine Time

6.
The hot shower didn't do it. Gimmie my heating pad and find me a soft flat spot for a while.

7.
I just wanna die, or at least pass out. Leave my heating pad on high and go away. Everything will be all better if I can just get to sleep. Sleep will cure all.

8.
I would cheerfully beat a co-worker to death to make this pain half of what it is now. Really. I'll take that stain on my soul if you can guarantee that I feel better. Not even well, but better.

9.
DEATH TO EVERYONE!... if I could only manage to move.

10.
I would cry except that I know crying would make it worse. There is no reality except for pain. I will embrace my pain and crush it to death under the slow smothering of my heating pad as I smolder in the misery of my nest of fuzzy flannel sheets in the heated water bed in the absolutely silent dark room...


And a quick footnote: This post is mostly for humor, and is not a search for either sympathy or solutions.
And yes, I live with headaches so constantly that 1) their existence sometimes is noticed after the fact and 2) I've used the phrase "would cheerfully beat a co-worker to death" while having never actually done even though I've hit the 10 on this scale a number of times.
Comments 
21st-Jan-2011 02:00 pm (UTC)
I wave off the "can't believe" comments with "It's not a halo migraine; light doesn't matter." If it's someone I know well enough to continue, I'll finish that sentence with "... so I might as well distract myself. Are you going to distract me, or do I make my own distraction?" and an evil, manic grin.
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