a preponderance of punctuation marks (reedrover) wrote,
a preponderance of punctuation marks
reedrover

  • Mood:

Bored?

If you are bored, you should go to the Warehouse 23 basement and go rooting around in the comment/idea dumpster. It's quite addictive, in a choose-your-own-adventure, mad-libs kind of drug dream.

Beneath a layer of Serbo-Croatian newspapers, soggy with a bubbling green liquid that smells like barbecue sauce, you uncover . . .

A small sheep, that, instead of going "Baa," it speaks fluent Spanish, Greek and Russian, and claims to have designed 3/4s of all the worlds lighthouses."


and

In a battered box wrapped with pink string and "Biohazard" warning tape, you discover . . .

A nail polish that thinks it's a goat.


and

A cloud of orange smoke drifts away to reveal . . .

A large soft plastic shaker of "Smokeless Baby Powder." It greatly reduces the inherent smoke and fouling associated with normal baby powder, making fully automatic babies possible.


and

But as you look closer, you realize it's not that at all - it is really . . .

A small plastic pistol, labeled "Elephant Gun." If fired, a full-grown Indian Elephant will be hurled at the target at a speed approaching sixty MPH. There are no instructions concerning how one should reload the gun or calm down the elephant.
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