a preponderance of punctuation marks (reedrover) wrote,
a preponderance of punctuation marks

Sheep jokes

Sheep Truths: Things one must know to raise sheep

(Substitute "goats" and you get the idea of our lives too...

How to induce labor in a ewe?
Go inside and take a nap.

How to cure constipation in your sheep?
Load them into the hatchback of your new car.

How to get a sheep to wash her own hooves?
Scrub the water trough and fill it with fresh water.

How to get a ewe to settle on the first cover?
Let the wrong ram go through your fence.

How to make sure that a ewe has that beautiful, perfectly marked lamb you always wanted?
Sell her before she lambs.

How to get your ram to aggressively court and breed your ewes?
Have the local pre-school class out for a farm tour.

How to induce a cold snap in the weather?
Shear your flock.

How to make it rain?
Mow a field of hay.

How to make a small fortune in the sheep business?
Start with a large fortune.

How do we know its time we left for an important appointment?
There's a sheep missing.

Want to know how A BMW handles?
Ask your vet.

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